Obama: Video Games Will Bring Cheer to All

Seeking new solutions to the angst sweeping the nation in a time of war and recession, President Obama said today that his administration, working in partnership with notable celebrities, will release several new video games designed to entertain anxious Americans.

“I am pleased, pleased that is, to announce this partnership for America,” said Obama.  “We cannot allow the mess I inherited from my predecessor to interfere with our mission to lead all citizens of the world toward a more nuanced existence, not to mention slapping Rush Limbaugh upside the head.  These exciting games will be a great way to forget about not having a job.”

Available in all formats, the games are scheduled to go on sale in time for the “Joyful Period” (formerly known as the Holiday).  The first to be released, Toxic Carbon Avengers, was developed by former vice-president Al Gore and allows players to score points in a variety of go-green activities such as not washing their clothes, sabotaging factories, and walking on all fours.  Bonus points are given to any player who teaches a herd of cattle to stop passing gas. 

In early December Crushed! will come out, featuring famed director Michael Moore as an annoying 300 pound slob on the loose in Las Vegas.  Teams take turns attempting to sit on unsuspecting tourists as the clock winds down, and the fun really begins whenever your own Michael Moore sees a buffet dinner or a bathroom.

Just days before JP Eve, the administration will release Please Forgive Us, a light-hearted role-playing game where one travels to beautiful countries like Venezuela, Iran and North Korea to deliver apologies for U.S. sins such as defeating Communism, slavery, defeating Nazism, arrogance, ending World War II in the Pacific prematurely, toughness, freeing nations and giving Jay Leno five nights a week.

Published in: on November 11, 2009 at 6:06 PM  Leave a Comment  

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