Kerry Urges Caution on Moon Shot

Senator John Kerry said today a plan to put man on the moon is “too ambitious, too risky, and goes too far, too fast.”

“No one wants to see us fail in our goal of a successful landing on the moon,” said Kerry during a visit to the Herman Munster Museum in Popponesset, Massachusetts, ” but I reject the call for a build-up of rockets and astronauts at this time while so much work is left to be done in losing the war in Afghanistan.”

Aides to the senator have reminded him repeatedly of the 1969 Apollo 11 mission to the moon, but according to one staffer, who spoke anonymously as she enjoys being gainfully employed, the senator has recently developed several unorthodox opinions, such as the D-Day invasion actually took place in Lawrence Olivier’s swimming pool, and if he was an Oscar Meyer wiener, everyone would be in love with him.

After visiting the museum Kerry bicycled to the Popponesset Bird Sanctuary, where he played several hands of pinochle with the local curlews, godwits, pharalopes and loons.

Published in: on October 26, 2009 at 7:13 PM  Leave a Comment  

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