Senate Finance Committee Finds True Distance from Sun

Senator Max Baucus announced today during a press conference that new calculations developed in the Finance Committee’s debate on the estimated cost of the health care bill have uncovered a startling discovery – the sun is actually closer to Earth than previously realized.

“We have worked hard for several weeks to develop accurate models showing the cost of covering all Americans with super-duper health insurance,” said Baucus.  “During a break, one of our key team members did a quality check on the computer program and found that, contrary to popular belief, the sun is only two million miles from Earth.”

News of the stunning miscalculation sent shock waves through the astronomy community, leading one Nobel laureate to conclude that a trip to the moon will now take only three hours. 

North Korea promptly announced that production of  all nuclear weapons in their country will be transferred to the moon by next year.

Published in: on October 7, 2009 at 5:22 PM  Leave a Comment  

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